Waiting to know test grades. Waiting to know God's plans for my summer. Waiting to understand God's will for my future. Something about my impatient human nature detests not having instant answers.
Nevertheless, I need to remember. Abraham waited. Joseph waited. Noah waited. Moses waited. Jesus waited. So many of the men and women of God's word waited. Abraham waited for years God to fulfill His promise of an heir. Joseph waited in an Egyptian prison not knowing how it would fit into God's great plan. Noah worked and waited for the rain to come for what could have seemed like endless years. Moses spent years herding sheep, learning the lessons that only being a shepherd could teach him. My own Saviour spent over thirty years on this earth revealing God's love in His daily interactions with men before He paid the ultimate price for our sins. If you find yourself waiting, you can rest assured that you're in good company.
They waited for decades. They waited in dark prisons. They waited in the wilderness. They waited without knowing, and yet they trusted God. And now it's my turn. It's time for me to remember how God has led me in the past.
There have been countless times when He has waited to reveal His will to me. Sometimes, He waited until I was surrendered and ready to unconditionally accept His plan. Sometimes He's waited in order to teach me to trust Him more. Sometimes, to teach me patience. Looking back, I've always been thankful. It was by waiting and seeking His will that I came to Southern, that I choose to spend a year among the Karen in Thailand, and that I chose to take nursing. Those three decisions have been three of the most rewarding decisions of my life. They weren't my initial gut choices. I really wanted to attend Andrews. I wanted to go be an SM through AFM. And I thought I was meant to pursue elementary education. All these were good things & great places. They weren't bad decisions. But they weren't where God was calling me. My time at Southern, my year among the Karen, and my near two years in the nursing program have brought more joy & learning experiences than I ever could have dared to dream up and hope for. God has been so good to me.
So I keep waiting. Actively waiting. And like God spoke to his waiting servant, Abraham, He reminds me, "Fear not. . . I am thy sheild, and thy exceeding great reward." (Gen 15:1) My reward. I am not rewarded by the events that happen, the answers I recieve, or the learning experiences I have. God Himself is my reward--my exceeding great reward every step of the journey. He is enough. My All-in-All. It's not just the reward at the journey's end. It's the reward of who He is & the daily joys that come from walking with Him. Oh Lord, keep teaching me. Teach me to wait.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength: they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint." -Isaiah 40:31